The Aged

In the "family series" - this not often addressed:  THE AGED!!!!

"old" = relative term! 

Example:  early patriarchs' list:

Oldest = Methuselah @969 years!  He was the son of Enoch (who was "taken" at 365" years & grandfather of Noah.

Methuselah - 969 years

Jared - 962 years

Noah - 950 years  (Gen. 5:32)    after Noah was 500 years old, he became father of Shem, Ham, Japheth.

Adam - 930 years

Seth - 912 years

Kenon - 910 years

Enos - 905 years

Mahalalel - 895 years

Lamech - 777 years

Enoch - 365 years  ("taken" in his prime!)  Gen. 5:23-24 - "lived 365 years... then "walked with God and he was no more because God took him away.'

After the flood, things slow down!

Abraham - 175 years - Gen. 25:7-8

Moses - 120 years - Deut. 34:5-7  Was 80 when he confronted Pharaoh

Caleb - Josh. 14:10-12

"Age" = 3 groups:

I.  Aged - (over the hill group)

II.  Aging - (not yet over the hill)

III.  Youngsters - on one hand aware (mentally), however, no real understanding!!!  No real experience!

The "aging" hill is always relative.  These groups do not describe particular ages.

I.  The Aged  (OTHG)

    (A)  A prayer to be used/useful - Psm. 71:9, 17-18

On one hand, not all have the physical of mental health to be used!  However, we should be available as long as possible.   As long as can be used, we need to stay active.

Just because are Old does not mean beyond use by God.  Psm. 92:12-15

    (B)  Open to continued growth and development

The support scripture is not age related - Phil. 1:6,  2 Cor. 4:16

   (C)  Confidence in God's care, provision - Isa. 46:3-4

context = Israel

Application = His People!!!

II.  To the Aging  (under The Hill Group)  (including youngsters)

     (A)   Concerning your elders - Deut. 5:16  example: ( Paul "first command with a Promise!)

Compare Prov. 23:22 and 30:17.  This means more than parents!  Lev. 19:32

    (B)  Concerning Yourself

On one hand, you don't know as juch as you think you do!  (something only known and understood with experience!!!)

However, WISDOM is not just for the elderly!!! - Job 32:4-10

So.... example:  Paul ==>Timothy - 1 Tim. 4:11-12

III.  (to all ages)

     (A)  Consider the time - Psm. 39:4 - show me how fleeting life is  (help to recognize)

with Psm. 90:10-12

Vs. 12 paraphrase = "teach us the brevity of life... SO THAT we might:

        (a)  consider the time (use it wisely)

        (b)  Acquire a WISE HEART!!! (soul, being of life, more than head knowledge)

    (B)  Redeem the time - Eph. 5:15-17

Paraphrase = "be careful with your time!  There are so may temptations to WASTE time in this evil age!" 

FINAL THOUGHTS AND WORDS:

III.  Youngsters - don't wait to accept, follow, serve Christ. 

In fact = can accomplish same things while following Christ as not!

II.  Aging - have family, careers, business, place, which are IMPORTANT! 

The idea is NOT to make Jesus priority, rather = LET HIM set the priorities!! -  make Him "LORD"

I.  Aged - not been here long enough to advise! 

BUT Scripture = clar!! ie:  should follow Christ, Serve Christ, Promote Christ - as long as possible!!

M.A.E.D.  = Make an Eternal Difference

The Bible on Children

Children are a blessing from the Lord.  Psm. 127:3-5
(Eve recognized from the beginning the the child was from the Lord.)
AND,
Children are a great responsibility. - Prov. 22:6 - "train up" = direct them, get started on correct path. (assumes you know the way of the Lord.)

Common theme in Scripture:::
with blessing comes great responsibility
with privilege comes great obligation.
Hence, Paul = 1 Tim. 5:8
More blessings, more obligations.

On one hand, children have "free will".  However, is parental responsibility to "start them off" right.  Is not your responsibility if the go wrong if they were directed right.
Deut. 6:4-7
Parents are responsible for children - not the school, not the church.  Those are tools to be used.

New Testament & Jesus with children:  On one hand, is not much recorded.  However, what IS recorded shows:
(1) Jesus Valued children highly! - Mark 10:13-16  (in all 3 synoptic gospels)

(2)  He used them as a MODEL of Christian faith! - Matt.18:1-4

(3)  He states the seriousness of mistreating them.  - Matt. 18:5-6 - is a big deal to offend one of the little ones.

(4)  He warns they have heavenly advocates - Matt. 18:10

So... we are to ...Value and Protect them but also to ... Discipline and Develop them.

We often distinguish between discipline and development
BUT
Biblical view ... discipline & development:
        Serve same Purpose
        Designed for same outcome
        One does not negate the other!

So.... Prov. 22:15, 29:13, 13:24
with
Heb. 12:5-11

When we couple...
   (1)  the High Value Jesus places on children, with
   (2)  the many Biblical admonitions to discipline,
Can only (rightly) conclude:

(1)   We are to discipline children

(2)  We are to discipline ... IN LOVE / PROPERLY  "as God does His children"  (He is our model)

(3)  We are to discipline for the purpose of developing - but always for the benefit.

A Warning against Harsh Discipline!!  Eph. 6:4  (ie. discipline that provokes anger)
use "the discipline and instruction of the Lord" - ie:  Do it God's way!)

Since today is Father's Day ... additional note:  The State of the Father affects (doesn't determine) the state of the children!!  - Bible is very clear on this.

Deut. 5:29, Prov. 20:7, Psm. 112:1& 2

Marriage Maintenance

Within marriage .. as the New wears off ... can lead to on one hand - an increased level of "Comfortable" with one another
However, are new issues to contend with!!

Examples:
(1)  Personal Preferences come to light.
If it's mustard vs. mayo = not a big deal.
BUT, night Vs morning person?  Spender vs. saver?  City living vs. country living?

(2)  Imperfections begin to surface.
examples:  snores, unorganized, slob!!!  procrastinate, domineering, etc.
These begin as annoyance but lead to offensive/disgusting

(3)  Responsibilities increase
ie:  bills, jobs, a business, a property?  KIDS!!!

(4)  Unintentional negligence often follows
too busy, etc.

(5)  slights, hurts, disappointments occur
AND accumulate!!!!  Leads to FESTER  which leads to anger/ bitter/ resentment which can lead to last out OR withdraw...!!!

POINT:  is not to paint bleak picture of marriage, but = reality check!!!
Marriage and Family in a Fallen World!!!

On one hand - Marriage = 1 man + 1 woman = 1 "flesh", couple, household, family beginning

However:  in light of Rom. 3:23 , Marriage = 1 (flawed) man + 1 (flawed) woman = 1 (flawed) couple/household, etc.

Every marriage (even a sold Christian marriage.... even  a solid, LONG TERM Christian marriage) needs attention, correction, repair!!!  (ie:  Maintenance)

It Could be argued ... the longer the marriage the greater the need for Marriage Maintenance!!
NOT to keep the marriage from falling apart,
BUT to keep it FRESH, joyous, satisfying, fulfilling, exciting!!

So... let's look at 3 simple needs to address concerning Marriage Maintenance.  (ie:  simple to comprehend!  Not necessarily simple to facilitate!!)

Marriage Maintenance needs include:
(1)  The need to  Examine the Relationship
To assess, be alert to deterioration, negligence, etc.
Because:
     (A)  Often don't see our Own dirt!!  and
     (B)  the damage is often Subtle.  Example:  termite damage vs tornado damage.  We are more subject to termite damage than tornado damage.  Song of Sol. 2:15

(2)  The need to Accept Responsibility
On one hand, you CAN'T fix your spouse  (therefore can't fix Marriage!)
However, you can accept responsibility for....:
      (A)  what you CAN fix
      (B)  What you Can IMPROVE - example:  Prov. 15:1
      (C)  what's your Fault!!!  example:  Gen. 3:8-13    (sounds like 21st. century America)

(3)  the need to Make Adjustments - 1 Cor. 11:31
which requires OPEN-NESS ... to  truth, common sense/ scripture, conscience, Holy Spirit
and .... Spouse's Criticisms!!!
Which .. on one hand, may not be right!!  However, certainly reveal an area of discontent!!

NOTE  These (1, 2, 3 above) = BASIC BIBLICAL PRINCIPLES!!!
Will apply to EVERY relationship!!
ie:  Should you...
     (1)  be alert to Sin?
     (2)  accept Responsibility?
     (3)  correct (repent) behavior?

POINT:  This is not Extra Biblical material.  This = BASIC Biblical material .... Applied to Marriage!!

A few more Basic Biblical Principles Applied to Marriage:

(1)  Praise and Affirmation - Rom. 13:7-8
Biblical term - "Edify" ... to Build up!!
Example:  Biblical parallel - Eph. 5:25-29

(2)  Apology - Matt. 5:23-24 - IF true of brothers/sisters in Christ, how much MORE of Spouse?

(3)  Forgiveness - Matt. 6:12-15
We all have need of affirmation, apology, forgiveness

You cannot build up by beating down!!  - by deprivation, withholding what's needed!  What's "due"!!

You cannot expect to gain what you need by withholding from spouse what he/she needs!!

Without ... affirmation, apology, forgiveness, you have Accumulated hurts, open wounds, withdrawal, lashing out, downward spiral!!!

(4)  Time together  "Exclusive intimacy"
Remember??  Marriage compared to Christ and the church?  Rev. 2:4-5 (church in Ephasus)
(Adam's "helpmate" was also his "playmate")

On one hand, I use and recommend Extra-Biblical material(s) for marriage and Family Studies.

BUT... those (Extra-Biblical) materials are BASED on (built on) BASIC BIBLE PRINCIPLES
which apply to all human relationships - are especially true of marital relationships

Matt:  7:24-27 - Jesus teaching about house on rock vs. house on sand.

Comparison:  Marriage on THE ROCK???
                     Marriage on the sand????

Closing Scripture:  Prov. 14:1


 

God's Design for Marriage

2 weeks ago = "God's PLAN for Marriage"  from Gen. Chap. 1 & 2
the original blueprint for Marriage = 1 man and 1 woman (in exclusive intimacy)/ leave/ cleave/ become/ remain

A plan supposes a purpose!
Example:  design a sailboat to sail on the water.  design an airplane to fly.  Design a house vs. a barn.   The design shows the purpose intended.

So... if God's plan = "leave, cleave, become, remain...", what's His purpose??  Trying to accomplish what??  What was marriage designed to do??

Gen. 1 & 2 - again - (original blueprint)   God designed Marriage to benefit (bless) mankind  ie:  the individual, the couple, the family, the community, the nation. ... by providing ....4 things:     (Not to restrict, designed so will function as intended)

I.  Companionship - Gen. 2:18 - "not good man should be alone..."  but didn't create another Man or a herd!!  But 1 Wo-man.

Marriage is more than companionship = friend (higher!)  John 15:15 - "no longer servants"  Song of Solomon 5:16 - "my lover, my friend" - Abraham was called the friend of God.
The issue is more than passion = compatibility!!
                                             = enjoy one another
                                             = spend time with one another - ie:  a soul Need met by Soul Mate!

II.  Partnership - Gen. 2:18 b - "help mate suitable"
(companion = soul need   Partner = practical need!)
            for (A)  Assisting
                 (B)  completing - supplementing, complementing, rounding out  - "we're better together"
Gen. 1:28 - "subdue the earth"   (together as a team) = co-workers, co-builders, co-rulers!
(not as common as it should be!!)
My joy = to see young couple working as a team to build - home, family, a business or holding, a "kingdom", a legacy!!

With I and II you have ..... a Partner to share load, and a companion to share the journey
Add:
III.  ROMANCE (where is that in Genesis?) - Gen. 2:23
Poetry = awe/excitement!!  (passion?)
   A.  Sexual Passion - unleashed within marriage!!
Are 20+ sexual prohibitions int he scripture - nearly all apply to Extra-Marital!! - only a couple guidelines within the marriage.
   B.  NON-Sexual Passion
  C.  Life-long Passion

"a successful marriage requires falling in love many times... always with the same person!"
Marriage = Help Mate - also Play-Mate!!!

When you have a Companion and a Partner who is also your Lover ... = a sweet package!!!

IV.  Family - Gen. 4:1
God's design and purpose in marriage includes.....
    (A)  Family:  This = place where children are to be Born, Raised, influenced, molded!!!
ie:  within a household of 2 committed to one another, committed to the Task, the Journey, the Family!!

God's design/purpose includes:
A)  Family
B)  STABLE family  (sound, solid, secure)
C)  GODLY family  - Mal. 2:15

Observations:
(1)  God designed Marriage to Benefit Mankind
And
(2)  He's involved in EVERY Marriage (even pagan marriage) - (example:  soul knitter)

(3)  He = a Partner, not a Dictator  (we have free will) - example:  Adam and Eve

Therefore:  we must:
(1)  Work to develop companionship, partnership, romance, stability!

(2)  Work together - takes 2!!  BOTH!!

(3)  Work according to God's plan, design, will

Closing:  Gen. 3:8 - God's Presence in your Marriage?
Build successful marriage with God's plan, design
Build a Godly marriage with Jesus as LORD!!

Summary:  Men and Woman and children ALL do better in a STABLE, MARRIED family group (or setting)
ie:  stable marriage leads to stable homes which lead to stable kids... who then lead to stable marriages, etc.


 

Popularity of Marriage

USA today - statistics regarding marriage:

Today we have More married couples in the U.S. than ever before!!  (nearly 62 million couples!)
BUT - that's mostly due to population growth!!

Using % of marrieds in U.S. (stats are HARD to nail down)
1960  (peak year) 72% of adults = married
today = around 50%

Reasons:
I)  Later marrying age.  1960 - avg. age = 21.  2018 - ave. age = 28

II)  Ease of divorce - 1960's set stage for "no fault divorce" - which does not require a showing of wrong doing by either partner.  1st. "no fault divorce" in USA in California in 1969.  Consequence = more "un-marrieds" - so divorce rate went up.

III.  Social Acceptance of Cohabitation - ie.  living together without having met legal (civil, state) obligations for marriage.
This lead to a gradual move AWAY from the traditional American view of marriage (which was Biblical/Christian)
Till today, 69% of Americans say cohabiting is acceptable.  Even IF couple is not planning to marry.  Another 16% say it's OK IF they plan to marry.  Only 14% say it is never acceptable (Biblical view)

Example:  US Census Bureau  "among 18-24 year-olds, more a cohabiting (9%) than married (7%).
(AND fastest growing age group for cohabiting is ... 50 years and up!!)

NOTE:  parallel acceptance of children born out of wedlock!!!  Example:  Facebook announcements and applause!!  - major shift in attitudes away from Biblical/Christian view.

IV.  A growing aversion to the states' right to define, regulate, be involved in the marriage relationship!!
Example:  2001 Gallup poll = 45% of Americans in 20s said government should NOT be involved in licensing marriage!!
65% Americans favor allowing unmarried, cohabiting couples Equal Legal Rights as married couples  (which leads to only difference = recorded in court house and a legal civil ceremony)

Nevertheless, in spite of all that ... Most Americans Marry!  50% of American adults currently married.  72% have been married - at least once.

Of these who've never married ... 58% say they'd like to be married someday.  Additional 27% say "not sure"  (most will change mind.)  Only 14 (of never marrieds) say "don't want to marry."

Also, giving up on A marriage does not mean giving up on the institution of marriage!!
80% of divorced people marry again ... in Spite of the fact that after the divorce ... only 33% of men and 15% of women say that they want to try again!!

Cohabitation = 1 man and 1 woman living in Exclusive Intimacy without formalized ceremony ahd/or legal sanction.  (official recognition by state)

Only 8% are "cohabiting".  of those .... 75% plan to marry.
                                                           55% do marry (within 5 years)
Others breakup and only 10% remain together unmarried!  (that  = 10% of the 8% (who are cohabiting) !!)

Though co-habitation s more common than ever  (recent times) long-term cohabitation (without eventual marriage) is NOT common!!!

What's the takeaway on all this?

The basic institution and practice of marriage is in NO danger of dying out!!
The Norm continues to be - 1 man + 1 woman living together in Exclusive intimacy ... with the intent of long term.

So then, what's the difference in "Marriage" and "Co-habitation"???
NOTE:  John 4:16-18 (powerful text) - Jesus makes distinction!!

Differences??  (between marriage and cohabiting)

#1.  an open, public declaration of intent

with #2.  a formal ritual/ceremony that society recognizes as a statement of that intent!!  Examples:  jump the broom, tie knot  gen. 24:67  (Israel and Rebekah)

for the US and most countries,
#3.  legal sanction  (recognized) by the state (government) which = THE distinction made by Census Bureau, Government agencies, pollsters, etc.    Rom.13:1

for Christians ... the Biblical view (God's plan, will, intent) includes
#4.  No extra-marital sexual intimacy  (before/after!)
Sexual intimacy - Exclusive right of Spouse.

#5.  "Christian marriage" = One Christian man + 1 Christian woman living in exclusive intimacy Under the Lordship  (Headship) of Christ!!!   Jesus as Lord.   2 Cor. 6:14 "yoked together", "bound together", mis-mated, matched

This = 'God's Plan'  and it = A Plan with a Purpose!!   for our good!  Are restrictions, but are for the good of the couple, good of the church, good of society, etc.

A Plan with a Purpose - next week's message.

God's Plan for Marriage

'family' (generally) begins with Marriage

A general definition, description of Marriage = 1 man + 1 woman living together in an exclusive, intimate relationship ... with the intent of it being lifelong.

This = the Universal arrangement/practice
Yes ... there have always been exceptions.
BUT, this describes the Vast Majority of marital unions ... throughout history - in (nearly) every culture!

(1)  This seems inherent - 'written on the heart, woven into the fabric of our being'
(2)  This aligns (closely) with the Biblical Model which declares .....
Marriage:
        (A)  is designed by God
        (B)  was instituted by God  (established, arranged, setup)
       (C)  is a Blessing to mankind
       (D)  should be practiced according to His design!

So... God's Plan - Gen. 2:19-25  (the original blueprint)

        My Outline - (1)  1 man + 1 woman
                            (2)  leave
                            (3)  cleave
                            (4)  become
                            (5)  remain

#1.  One man + one woman living in Exclusive Intimacy (ie:  closeness/a familiarity shared with NO ONE ELSE)   that = (A)  Sexual - KJV - "Adam Knew Eve."
                              but    (B)  more than sexual

who...
#2.  Leave - old primary relationship for a New primary relationship.  Doesn't mean abandon family but
= make spouse #1.    Note:  violations will hamper the Union!!

#3.  Cleave  (old English) = hold to, cling to, embrace
This = more than physical - "hold close to heart" - emotionally and relationally   Is the couple's work.
Is active verb - have to do it, work at it.

#4.  Become "one, 1 flesh" lives melded/souls knit.  This is God's work.  Happens even in bad marriages!  Matt. 19:4-6

#5.  Remain - Matt. 19 = Jesus' response to "divorce?" debate.  Yes!  law made provision/divorce ca be legitimate (sometimes necessary!)
BUT ... God's plan, heart, desire (will) = Marriage that lasts!

NOTE:  One person cannot do it..   Two people have to WORK at it.
             We all come short  (of what we should be).  Can't go back and change the past.  (must move forward!!)

BUT.... this = His Plan
            this = what we should work toward!

God's high view of Marriage also seen in fact that Marriage is used as the primary illustration of the Relationship between Christ and His Church!!
Eph. 5:25-33  (Is Paul talking about Man? or Christ & church? or BOTH!!)

PARALLELS:
(1)  Exclusive - "no other gods before me"  "jealous God"
      Intimacy -   Phil 4:10  "that I might Know Him"

(2)  leave .... old life/ old life style - no longer in love with philosophies of the world

(3)  cleave.... to New Lord, Master, LOVE!!

(4)  Become ... process of Sanctification - Eph. 5:25-28

(5)  Remain - "endure/persevere/remain faithful..."  hence church is called "Bride of Christ" 

Question:    Do we learn about Relationship with Christ by looking at Marriage?   OR, do we learn about Marriage by looking at Relationship with Christ???   
  
Answer:  BOTH!!  (or either way!)
Want to improve your marriage?  Look at Christ and the church.
Want to improve relationship with Christ?  look at Biblical marriage.

Both = important/sacred
Both ... can stand improvement  (development)
In BOTH ... when you improve.... you Benefit!!

                             

Becoming a Man of Excellence

Last week = "Prov. 31 Woman" - (virtuous, wife of noble character, 'Woman of Excellence')

Is there a corresponding passage for men???

On one hand is a lot of material scattered through-out Scripture, however, is no chapter (outlined in the text)

Question:  If marriage and family = so important, they why NOT more chapters, lengthy teachings, texts, etc. regarding it?

Answer:  Scripture is not Primarily a handbook on marriage and family, (or money, or leadership, or government, etc.)  There are a great deal of texts that you can go to on these things, but

Scripture is Primarily a Revelation of
 1)  God' Character - what He's like, and
 2)  God's will - what He wants (for us)

AND what He wants  (first and foremost) is not Godly husbands, Godly fathers, Godly families.
What He wants (first and foremost) = GODLY PEOPLE!! - the foundation for being a Godly father/mother

Example:  Mal. 2:15 - addresses Godly husband, father, family, but begins with .... Godly person!!  (man)

Picture a pyramid divided horizontally into three sections.  Person at bottom, partner in middle, parent at top.
Application is simple:  if you want to develop 'self as Godly partner, Godly parent, begin by developing self into Godly person!

Observations - #1:  You needn't master tier 1 before building tier 2 & 3.  Can build the tiers simultaneously.
BUT cannot develop 2 and 3 without 1.  (base)  (Can't be a good person without being a Godly person.)

                      #2.  To heighten the pyramid ... broaden the base.  (to add volume, mass  "edify")
So....steps, ingredients to developing this model, to building this pyramid

Basic stuff but need to review.

Becoming a Man (or woman, child) of Excellence (according to Biblical definition)
begins with:
I.  Acceptance of God's plan (will) for you!   Which includes accepting that
            (1)  He has a plan - a will, design for yu (as a man/woman/child)
            (2)  He has revealed that plan - not entirely, but sufficiently - 2 Pet. 1:3 -  Doesn't answer every question but you have what you need to develop.
and      (3)  that plan includes Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior   Example:  John 14:1, 6

 IF you are rejecting/refusing God's Son/ Christ  THEN you are NOT accepting God's plan for you.  You can use the principles to make your life better.  But, that's not His plan.

So... I.  accepting God's plan

       II.  Exposure to that plan!
IF are willing to follow His plan then gotta know the plan!!

If His plan is revealed in His Word, then  gotta study the Word!
This = (1) more than a sermon a week!
         (2)  Bible = primary (and sufficient) 2 Pet. 1:3
but    (3)  Extra Biblical material is helpful!!!  (should be Biblical in its base)

     III. Self-Examination - Requires Brutal Honesty!!
Because:  (1)  We don't fix what we don't see as broken
               (2)  only you can examine the heart
and         (3)  we are (all) easily deceived!!   Jer. 17:9  We are extremely adept at it.

The measure?  Scripture, Holy Spirit within, Godly brothers and sisters - NOT HOW YOU FEEL!

The balance?  Seeing the shortcomings without being devastated by the shortcomings - God's intent is to correct and improve!!

Self examination requires Re-examination!! "Remember!  be careful!  don't forget!  - we need to be re-challenged

    IV.  Practice - doing it time and again.
Which = (1) to put into action what you know  _ John 13:17
AND     (2)  "to perform regularly in order to improve proficiency!!"  - Heb. 5:14

This all = very basic, fundamental, nothing new

BUT - deserves attention because it IS basic and fundamental.  ie:
     (1)  can't build the pyramid without the base!
     (2)  if you want to heighten the pyramid, you need to broaden the base!

so.. as we study "marriage and family"  (1) we cannot set aside what we've looked at in Rom. 1 to 11.
and  (2)  you cannot (truly) develop your skills as Godly partner, Godly parent, without addressing your need to become a Godly person!