Reference - recent decision of the US Supreme Court concerning same sex marriage.
Struck down Sec.3 of the DOMA - which limited the definition of marriage as between a man and a woman.
NOW, any same sex couple legally married in one of the 12 states that permit same sex marriage can claim spousal benefits from the Federal Government. In essence, have the federal government's stamp of approval on same sex marriage.
SO, Question #1: how long before the other 38 states follow suit?? (willingly or by judicial decree)
And, Question #2: Where should Christians stand concerning this issue of same sex marriage?
Last sermon - series of questions offered to help you answer that question - Biblically. (as well as many other ethical questions that confront)
Today - review and address the issue directly --- along with the companion issue of homosexual behavior (lifestyle)
First, Same Sex Marriage - what does the Bible say about it?
Answer - Nothing!!!!
Why?? 1) same sex marriage wasn't an issue in the time when the Bible was taking form.
2) the Scripture clearly defines marriage without addressing same sex issues.
3) the issue of homosexual behavior is dealt with - thereby excluding possibility of same sex marriage.
#1. Same Sex Marriage wasn't an issue in Biblical times.
Not saying it was never found but was very rare and not truly recognized as marriage.
Example: Emperor Nero (reigned about the time Paul was writing the New Testament) - reported to have married 2 men - one of his freedmen - as the bride, and later a young boy/slave - as the groom.
On one hand, no one challenges Nero! However, even then it lacked legal status and social recognition/acceptance.
The Latin word - "matrimonium" from which we get our word matrimony - required "mater"/mother=children. Holy matrimony = man taking woman to have children
Today 13 countries recognize same sex marriage (Great Britain - in 2014) and several others are on deck. BUT, the first nation in history to recog. ssm was the Netherlands in 2001 (12 years)
ie: Same sex marriage is a brand new social experiment!!
#2. Marriage is clearly defined in Scripture as between male and female (one each)
Gen. 1:27, 2:18, 22, 24 - through out Scripture!
Objection!! Also recognizes Polygamy! Answer: Never commended/recommended/prescribed/approved of polygamy - just reporting that it was there.
#3. Homosexual behavior clearly prohibited in Scripture.
Example: Sodom and Gomorrah. Lev. 18:22 Rom. 1:26-27
So..... where does that place same sex marriage from Biblical perspective?
Back to the questions of 2 weeks ago (modified)
#1. Does God exist? (Supreme Being/1st. Cause, Creator, Omni_____
If "no" then ssm is not wrong. (If no God, then no Lawgiver)
If "no" then is no right or wrong - except as man/society dictates.
#2. Is He Personal? (is He interested? involved? caring?)
If "no" then ........."whatever" - concerning ssm.
If "yes" then .... what is His will? plan? design?
#3. Has He revealed Himself? (His will? His design?) Has He made Himself known?
Heb. 1:1-2 John 1:18 - yes, specifically through His Son Jesus Christ
Quote by Wm. Blackstone - Law is to be discovered vs designed. Eternal laws already exist. Our job to discover them - not invent new ones.
#4. Does the Bible contain (record) His Self Revelations?
If "Yes" then.... we have "His Word" on the subject/issues.
#5. Are His laws .... universal? (for all people/all time?)
practical? designed for practice or theory? - 2 Tim. 3:16-17
consequential? Gal. 6:7 (for individual/society) His Word will stand. Cannot embrace same sex marriage and not encounter problems and consequences.
NOTE: Some Christians will answer "yes" to above questions .... and still conclude same sex marriage = acceptable/good!!
How do they conclude this?? Short answer = "It's all about LOVE". = God is loving/ God loves love/ we should be loving/ "all you need is Love"
ANSWER: = on one hand that is true. On the other hand, love not always tolerant, permissive, nice
Love does not permit/promote what is wrong/harmful
If Bible is God's revelation, love is not always sweet and nice.
Issue of same sex marriage does NOT stand alone. Is surrounded by/determined by greater issues - for example.
The issue of....
1) Morality - is Right/Wrong?
2) Authority - who decides right/wrong?
If answer = God ... then the issue of ...
3) Discovery - how do we discover what He's established?
4) Personal Practice - how do I apply these rules/laws to my life...
5) Relational Practice - how do I relate to others - especially those who disagree with me on these issues?
6) Obedience/Submission to a civil government in contradiction to God's law? - how will we respond and act to this.
OBSERVATIONS:
1. Only thing new here = issue of same sex marriage and its legality, etc.
ALL REST (big issues) = old as Abraham!!!!
2. God is NOT surprised/shocked/taken aback/over-ruled --
IF He ever WAS God .. He Still is!!!
3. The law of the land has changed - our calling has NOT = same as yesterday/last month/ etc.
So, on one hand, the same sex marriage issue stands before you...
On the other hand, the greater issue = WILL you ... Seek/submit to/serve God
If so... you;ll get past SSM issue - just fine!!!
Monday, July 29, 2013
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Why I Believe What I Believe About Same Sex Marriage
On June 26, 2013 the US Supreme Court struck down Section 3 of the DOMA (which had been) passed by congress and signed into law by President Bill Clinton in 1996. (17 years earlier).
Now any couple (including same sex couples) legally married (in any of 12 states) can claim spousal federal benefits.
IF this is sanctioned by Federal law and the high courts, how long before the other 38 states are forced to follow suit?
2 Questions:
1) How do you feel about that? (your response/opinion)
2) Why do you feel that way? (hold that opinion?)
Example/illustration:
Many are pleased with the decision. I want to know:
What you believe about S.S.M.? (court's decision),
and,
Why you believe that ... where are you coming from that would bring you to that conclusion?
1 Pet. 3:15 beginning with "always"
As an evangelical Christian, we need to state
1) what we believe about S.S.M.
and 2) why we believe that ... where we come from, how we arrive at this point.
So, today is not what I believe about S.S.M., but why I believe,/why I hold this opinion, how I arrive at this conclusion.
So.... why I believe what I believe about Same Sex Marriage -- (or many other social/ethical issues of the day)
#1. Is there a God? ie: Supreme Being, 1st Cause, Creator... Omni___________?
IF, your answer is "No" then (ultimately) you prob. have no problem with SSM.
Our answer is: Gen. 1:1
#2. Is He personal?
ie: personally interested in affairs of man, personally involved in affairs of man.
We compare to David: Psm. 139:13-18 Matt. 10:29-31 - I Know you!!
#3. Has He revealed Himself? the need? He is TRANSCENDENT - infinitely beyond us. Therefore, you could never, ever figure Him out.
A) general revelation - Psm. 19:1-2 - Rom. 1:20
B) Specific (special) revelation? - He has revealed Himself through - instances, events, angels, patriarchs, prophets, ... Heb. 1:1 AND thru His Son - Heb. 1:2 John 1:18
And, then through the Apostles ... who recorded this (Bible)
#4. Is the Revelation trustworthy? - 2 Issues
A) Transmission - example - New Testament - settled by textual criticism
B) (original) reception
Short form: Jesus put His stamp of approval on....
1. Old Testament writings - "it is written", "Isaiah was right", Matt. 5:18
2. New Testament writers - Luke 6:12-13 Acts 1:8
If you won't accept what Jesus approved, you are refuting Jesus.
To reject the Revelation - to refute Jesus!!!
So, 2 Pet. 1:20-21 - view of Peter - view of Christ.
#5. Does the Revelation contain His will for us? (a plan for man?)
Answer: Yes - Eph. 4:1 - Ephesians is 1/2 theological basis (chap. 1-3, and 1/2 practical behavior. Chap. 4-6)
We believe the Revelation IS...
Universal - for all men
Final - not evolving/changing with time
Authoritative - because it is from God!!
Sufficient (not all issues but = enough for a life of Godliness!! - 2 Pet. 1:3)
Question: Is it obligatory?
Answer: No - don't have to obey
But... Yes - it is consequential - here and now and in eternity
Compare gravity - don't have to obey law of gravity, but there will be consequences if jump off ten story building.
Gal. 6:7
Given the above stance... 2 more relevant questions:
#6. How then should I live? personal choices/lifestyle
#7. How then should I treat others? - act, answer, respond?
Especially - those with a different stance, viewpoint
This is more than same sex marriage (and why I stand here....)
This = all moral/ethical/religious/social/political issues
Closing: Above = objective basis for decisions, viewpoint, lifestyle, etc.
Does not address your personal/subjective encounters with God which are also necessary to a personal relationship with Him.
So - Have you been ... convicted? Called? Drawn?
Have you ... responded? received? obeyed?
Now any couple (including same sex couples) legally married (in any of 12 states) can claim spousal federal benefits.
IF this is sanctioned by Federal law and the high courts, how long before the other 38 states are forced to follow suit?
2 Questions:
1) How do you feel about that? (your response/opinion)
2) Why do you feel that way? (hold that opinion?)
Example/illustration:
Many are pleased with the decision. I want to know:
What you believe about S.S.M.? (court's decision),
and,
Why you believe that ... where are you coming from that would bring you to that conclusion?
1 Pet. 3:15 beginning with "always"
As an evangelical Christian, we need to state
1) what we believe about S.S.M.
and 2) why we believe that ... where we come from, how we arrive at this point.
So, today is not what I believe about S.S.M., but why I believe,/why I hold this opinion, how I arrive at this conclusion.
So.... why I believe what I believe about Same Sex Marriage -- (or many other social/ethical issues of the day)
#1. Is there a God? ie: Supreme Being, 1st Cause, Creator... Omni___________?
IF, your answer is "No" then (ultimately) you prob. have no problem with SSM.
Our answer is: Gen. 1:1
#2. Is He personal?
ie: personally interested in affairs of man, personally involved in affairs of man.
We compare to David: Psm. 139:13-18 Matt. 10:29-31 - I Know you!!
#3. Has He revealed Himself? the need? He is TRANSCENDENT - infinitely beyond us. Therefore, you could never, ever figure Him out.
A) general revelation - Psm. 19:1-2 - Rom. 1:20
B) Specific (special) revelation? - He has revealed Himself through - instances, events, angels, patriarchs, prophets, ... Heb. 1:1 AND thru His Son - Heb. 1:2 John 1:18
And, then through the Apostles ... who recorded this (Bible)
#4. Is the Revelation trustworthy? - 2 Issues
A) Transmission - example - New Testament - settled by textual criticism
B) (original) reception
Short form: Jesus put His stamp of approval on....
1. Old Testament writings - "it is written", "Isaiah was right", Matt. 5:18
2. New Testament writers - Luke 6:12-13 Acts 1:8
If you won't accept what Jesus approved, you are refuting Jesus.
To reject the Revelation - to refute Jesus!!!
So, 2 Pet. 1:20-21 - view of Peter - view of Christ.
#5. Does the Revelation contain His will for us? (a plan for man?)
Answer: Yes - Eph. 4:1 - Ephesians is 1/2 theological basis (chap. 1-3, and 1/2 practical behavior. Chap. 4-6)
We believe the Revelation IS...
Universal - for all men
Final - not evolving/changing with time
Authoritative - because it is from God!!
Sufficient (not all issues but = enough for a life of Godliness!! - 2 Pet. 1:3)
Question: Is it obligatory?
Answer: No - don't have to obey
But... Yes - it is consequential - here and now and in eternity
Compare gravity - don't have to obey law of gravity, but there will be consequences if jump off ten story building.
Gal. 6:7
Given the above stance... 2 more relevant questions:
#6. How then should I live? personal choices/lifestyle
#7. How then should I treat others? - act, answer, respond?
Especially - those with a different stance, viewpoint
This is more than same sex marriage (and why I stand here....)
This = all moral/ethical/religious/social/political issues
Closing: Above = objective basis for decisions, viewpoint, lifestyle, etc.
Does not address your personal/subjective encounters with God which are also necessary to a personal relationship with Him.
So - Have you been ... convicted? Called? Drawn?
Have you ... responded? received? obeyed?
Sunday, July 7, 2013
When Friends Let You Down
(this = common to life / always disturbing) ... so...
Mark 14:32-42 - in Gethsemane. "keep watch" = watch in prayer. Especially troubling when occurs in inner circle of friends, family, etc.
we see.....
1) Jesus trusted God - recognized His Sovereignty, sufficiency ... we know that He doesn't need Peter, James, and John in the strictest sense.
BUT...
2) Jesus desired human companionship - at His hour of need -- looked to the disciples for support!! (his 3 closest friends)
3) Jesus was greatly disappointed by His friends. - they fell way short of what He needed at that time
a) common to man
b) common to life Job 6:14-21 (a)
c) common to Christian life 2 Tim. 4:9-11, 16
Sometimes God manifests Himself through His people.
POINT: We're often disappointed by friends, (common to humanity) because...
#1. People are human ---- therefore limited - in ability to know, care, minister - Mark 14:38
#2. People are sinners -- therefore -- faulty...
A) tend toward SELF - (concern, fulfillment, service, etc.)
B) often fail even when want to do good - Rom. 7:15, 18-19, 21-24 - (introspection of a man who understands who he really is)
#3. People are different -- therefore -- have different opinions, outlooks, viewpoints, beliefs, values...
(there are other reasons that people disappoint, but these are the basis, bulk)
So ---- what did Jesus do?? How did He handle this?
#1. Jesus asked for support.
On one hand, asking could lead to greater disappointment - (ie: ask and not receive support needed)
On the other hand, people won't support if they don't know.
#2. Jesus saw their failure as human weakness (not indifference) - Mark 14:38 They really didn't understand what He was going through.
#3. Jesus didn't cast blame on the disciples.
On one hand, Jesus was in a mess.
However, it wasn't the disciples' fault!! (it was His choice!!)
They just failed to support Him IN the mess!!
#4. Jesus didn't let the failure of the disciples disrupt His relationship with the Father.
Typical scenario: "hasn't affected my relationship with God, but: just quit the church (His bride), avoid people (for whom He died). Keep the "Love the Lord ... with heart and mind and soul," but ignore the "love your neighbor as yourself".
#5. Jesus didn't let the failure of the disciples disrupt His relationship with them.
Example: Peter - after falling asleep, denial, running away --- but reinstated at the Lord's breakfast!
That's Jesus - our model.
Add something Not in this text.
People will disappoint you -- (that's clear, evident)
But.... recognize this: you will disappoint others - you are no different.
Everything said of others is true of you also.
This doesn't alter the facts, situation. But it helps put it in perspective .. with attitude, response
Luke 18:9-14
As we deal with one another, let us beware of 3 things:
1) Self Righteousness
2) Disdain
3. Unforgiveness - when sinned against
One of our obligations after becoming a Christian is loving our neighbor as self.
Mark 14:32-42 - in Gethsemane. "keep watch" = watch in prayer. Especially troubling when occurs in inner circle of friends, family, etc.
we see.....
1) Jesus trusted God - recognized His Sovereignty, sufficiency ... we know that He doesn't need Peter, James, and John in the strictest sense.
BUT...
2) Jesus desired human companionship - at His hour of need -- looked to the disciples for support!! (his 3 closest friends)
3) Jesus was greatly disappointed by His friends. - they fell way short of what He needed at that time
a) common to man
b) common to life Job 6:14-21 (a)
c) common to Christian life 2 Tim. 4:9-11, 16
Sometimes God manifests Himself through His people.
POINT: We're often disappointed by friends, (common to humanity) because...
#1. People are human ---- therefore limited - in ability to know, care, minister - Mark 14:38
#2. People are sinners -- therefore -- faulty...
A) tend toward SELF - (concern, fulfillment, service, etc.)
B) often fail even when want to do good - Rom. 7:15, 18-19, 21-24 - (introspection of a man who understands who he really is)
#3. People are different -- therefore -- have different opinions, outlooks, viewpoints, beliefs, values...
(there are other reasons that people disappoint, but these are the basis, bulk)
So ---- what did Jesus do?? How did He handle this?
#1. Jesus asked for support.
On one hand, asking could lead to greater disappointment - (ie: ask and not receive support needed)
On the other hand, people won't support if they don't know.
#2. Jesus saw their failure as human weakness (not indifference) - Mark 14:38 They really didn't understand what He was going through.
#3. Jesus didn't cast blame on the disciples.
On one hand, Jesus was in a mess.
However, it wasn't the disciples' fault!! (it was His choice!!)
They just failed to support Him IN the mess!!
#4. Jesus didn't let the failure of the disciples disrupt His relationship with the Father.
Typical scenario: "hasn't affected my relationship with God, but: just quit the church (His bride), avoid people (for whom He died). Keep the "Love the Lord ... with heart and mind and soul," but ignore the "love your neighbor as yourself".
#5. Jesus didn't let the failure of the disciples disrupt His relationship with them.
Example: Peter - after falling asleep, denial, running away --- but reinstated at the Lord's breakfast!
That's Jesus - our model.
Add something Not in this text.
People will disappoint you -- (that's clear, evident)
But.... recognize this: you will disappoint others - you are no different.
Everything said of others is true of you also.
This doesn't alter the facts, situation. But it helps put it in perspective .. with attitude, response
Luke 18:9-14
As we deal with one another, let us beware of 3 things:
1) Self Righteousness
2) Disdain
3. Unforgiveness - when sinned against
One of our obligations after becoming a Christian is loving our neighbor as self.
Monday, July 1, 2013
Concerning the Future of the USA
Wed. June 26th. the Supreme Ct. struck down that part of the Defense of Marriage Act which defines marriage as between 1 man and 1 woman.
On one hand: no surprise
On the other hand: very disturbing - our nation is slipping from its Christian roots and Biblical moorings.
An informal survey asked: "concerning the future of the USA ...,
Are you 1) an optimist? His findings: 25%
2) a pessimist? 35%
3) a dooms-day cataclysmist? - 40%
So, 75% of American adults are pessimistic about the future of our nation.
(because of moral decline, economic woes (national debt), corrupt politics, military conflicts, terrorism, consumerism, domestic violence, breakdown of homes and marriages)
Whatever the reason(s) .. a decided majority are Pessimistic about our nation's future.
NOTE: it was exactly the reverse 100 years ago!!!!
Beginning of the 20th. century, Americans we highly Optimistic!!
Question: What happened??? - WW1, Great Depression, WW11 (Korean War, Cold War, Vietnam...)
The 20th. Century saw incredible progress/good technology, medicine, public education, political freedoms, financial growth, civil rights, social improvements, etc.
(who wants to go back to the conditions of 1899@@)
However, we've failed to establish a Utopian society!!!
Still have - human nature, failings, military conflicts, economic recessions, political corruption, terrorism ON OUR Soil, prisons full, schools unsafe, apathy, indifference, illness, death ..... all with us (and apparently)
all here to stay!!
So.........
As Christians, where should we stand?? - regarding our nation itself.
Optimist?? Pessimist?? Dooms-day Cataclysmist??
Answer: I don't know.
BUT... here are some things for us to keep in mind.
#1. God is still in control. (on His throne)
If He ever was God, He still is!!!!
God is greater than ________. (fill in the blank)
#2. God's Kingdom will endure and will triumph
Matt. 16:18 Rev. 20:7-10
We are bad to measure the outcome of God's Kingdom by what's going on in the US. We are not that powerful.
#3. If you're on His side, you'll be OK.
Rom 8:31-35, 37-37
The text does not meat that if you're a Christian, your life will be rosy, carefree, trouble-free.
It means if you're a Christian, you are in the hands of the Sovereign God, and, therefore will be
ultimately and finally saved and safe. John 10:27-29
NOTE: This promise is NOT for all who claim belief in God. But, for those are "In Christ". - have received, accepted Him as Lord & Master.
Meanwhile, we live 'in-between'.
Between 1) the 1st Coming - when Jesus manifest Himself as Christ (Messiah) (by resurrecting..) to believers.
And 2) 2nd. coming - when Jesus will manifest Himself as LORD - clearly ... to ALL!!!
So.... some additional observations..
1) The Holy Spirit is still at work. - drawing, saving, transforming (both individuals and nations)
2) Christianity is still growing, spreading - worldwide - AD 100 - 360 non-Christians to 1 Christian.
AD 2000 - 3 non-Christians to 1 Christian.
3) (= opinion - stated with reservation ... But... in spite of all appearances, it seems..
3) Americans have not (yet) abandoned God.
A) Religious choice - 80% claim Christianity
B Religious expression - 62% remain "churched"
(definition of "churched" - a) make a denomination claim and b) attend services at least occasionally)
1776 = 17%
1860 = 37%
1906 = 51%
1952 = 59%
1980 = 62%
2000 = 62%
4) = opinion again - I believe..
4) God has not (yet) abandoned America
If so ... A) there is still hope and B) we help determine the future - Jer. 18:7-10
Your Part? (simple, general application)
#1. Accept Christ - America needs God followers (not God claimers) - nothing greater can be done for the nation.
#2. Live the Christian life - Matt. 5:13-16 - it's easy to make a declaration.
#3. Pray for our nation - 1 Tim. 2:1-4
#4. Stay the course - 2 Tim. 4:3-5 - Stand firm, be faithful
#5. Trust God with the outcome. - if doing your part, what happens is not your fault.
On one hand: no surprise
On the other hand: very disturbing - our nation is slipping from its Christian roots and Biblical moorings.
An informal survey asked: "concerning the future of the USA ...,
Are you 1) an optimist? His findings: 25%
2) a pessimist? 35%
3) a dooms-day cataclysmist? - 40%
So, 75% of American adults are pessimistic about the future of our nation.
(because of moral decline, economic woes (national debt), corrupt politics, military conflicts, terrorism, consumerism, domestic violence, breakdown of homes and marriages)
Whatever the reason(s) .. a decided majority are Pessimistic about our nation's future.
NOTE: it was exactly the reverse 100 years ago!!!!
Beginning of the 20th. century, Americans we highly Optimistic!!
Question: What happened??? - WW1, Great Depression, WW11 (Korean War, Cold War, Vietnam...)
The 20th. Century saw incredible progress/good technology, medicine, public education, political freedoms, financial growth, civil rights, social improvements, etc.
(who wants to go back to the conditions of 1899@@)
However, we've failed to establish a Utopian society!!!
Still have - human nature, failings, military conflicts, economic recessions, political corruption, terrorism ON OUR Soil, prisons full, schools unsafe, apathy, indifference, illness, death ..... all with us (and apparently)
all here to stay!!
So.........
As Christians, where should we stand?? - regarding our nation itself.
Optimist?? Pessimist?? Dooms-day Cataclysmist??
Answer: I don't know.
BUT... here are some things for us to keep in mind.
#1. God is still in control. (on His throne)
If He ever was God, He still is!!!!
God is greater than ________. (fill in the blank)
#2. God's Kingdom will endure and will triumph
Matt. 16:18 Rev. 20:7-10
We are bad to measure the outcome of God's Kingdom by what's going on in the US. We are not that powerful.
#3. If you're on His side, you'll be OK.
Rom 8:31-35, 37-37
The text does not meat that if you're a Christian, your life will be rosy, carefree, trouble-free.
It means if you're a Christian, you are in the hands of the Sovereign God, and, therefore will be
ultimately and finally saved and safe. John 10:27-29
NOTE: This promise is NOT for all who claim belief in God. But, for those are "In Christ". - have received, accepted Him as Lord & Master.
Meanwhile, we live 'in-between'.
Between 1) the 1st Coming - when Jesus manifest Himself as Christ (Messiah) (by resurrecting..) to believers.
And 2) 2nd. coming - when Jesus will manifest Himself as LORD - clearly ... to ALL!!!
So.... some additional observations..
1) The Holy Spirit is still at work. - drawing, saving, transforming (both individuals and nations)
2) Christianity is still growing, spreading - worldwide - AD 100 - 360 non-Christians to 1 Christian.
AD 2000 - 3 non-Christians to 1 Christian.
3) (= opinion - stated with reservation ... But... in spite of all appearances, it seems..
3) Americans have not (yet) abandoned God.
A) Religious choice - 80% claim Christianity
B Religious expression - 62% remain "churched"
(definition of "churched" - a) make a denomination claim and b) attend services at least occasionally)
1776 = 17%
1860 = 37%
1906 = 51%
1952 = 59%
1980 = 62%
2000 = 62%
4) = opinion again - I believe..
4) God has not (yet) abandoned America
If so ... A) there is still hope and B) we help determine the future - Jer. 18:7-10
Your Part? (simple, general application)
#1. Accept Christ - America needs God followers (not God claimers) - nothing greater can be done for the nation.
#2. Live the Christian life - Matt. 5:13-16 - it's easy to make a declaration.
#3. Pray for our nation - 1 Tim. 2:1-4
#4. Stay the course - 2 Tim. 4:3-5 - Stand firm, be faithful
#5. Trust God with the outcome. - if doing your part, what happens is not your fault.
Monday, June 24, 2013
The Need for Blessing
Mark 10:13-16
Last week - Father's Day - discussed fatherless homes - problems? lack of discipline? direction? lack of a masculine model? The greatest social problem today is Fatherless homes.
The general answer for the resulting issues is: children "missed their blessing"
Definition of Blessing: 1) to pray down God's divine favor (prophet, rabbi, patriarch) so that would result in
2) to cause to prosper: to promote wellness or well-being: may be physical, psychological, spiritual, relational, etc.
People desire (and need!!) to know that they are loved (lovable), valued (valuable) significant (special/matter).
To communicate this constitutes "Blessing"
(on one hand it's hard to define. on the other hand, all know when they experience it)
When people miss a blessing, it makes a difference in their life.
OBSERVATIONS:
1) All people long for blessing.
(innate, inherent - known long before can define it)
2) Blessing is especially important in Formative years.
3) Blessing (or lack thereof) carries into adulthood. According to stats: when person receives blessing, results in their being more mentally, emotionally, relationally, socially stable!!
4) Most effective time for blessing is childhood. Called "formative years" because that's when feelings, attitudes, world view, etc. is being formed.
BUT this is NOT the only time!!!
5) Most effective arena for blessing is home/family
BUT this is NOT the only arena!!!
6) It is within your power to bless - not only for Rabbi, etc.
Some are gifted with the gift of blessings, but even if not, doesn't take away the responsibility to do it.
So...... A FEW simple but effective ways to Bless.
#1. the most powerful, most effective - With Words. Prov. 18:21 (a) - ---> Matt. 12:36
ie: words of Praise, Encouragement ... "to speak well of"
Note: this does not negate need of discipline/correction... ( Heb. 12:11 )
Summary verse: Eph. 4:29
#2. With appropriate touch - (touch conveys a lot!!)
Mark 10:13 Mark 1:40-42
*touch works both ways -- ie. bless/curse
#3. With apology (more than apologetic words -- but heart!!)
importance?? Matt. 5:23-24
(Kids need this from adults!!!)
#4. With forgiveness (even blessed by forgiveness?? Eph. 4:32 )
Forgiveness = A. release from guilt/debt - (and the burden thereof)
B. removal of barrier between parties
#5. With an Education in God's Word
(contrast exposure to His Word) - ie. TAKE to Sunday School, AWANA, Day Camp - vs. living and educating by actions in daily life.
NOTE: temporal blessings are of some value!!! but not magic.
eternal blessings are of great value!!!
Remember:
1) No all will recognize your blessing. Compare to God's Salvation - available to all but not all will accept. Our responsibility is to OFFER - Prov. 3:27
2) Remember - when you bless, God blesses through you!!!
Last week - Father's Day - discussed fatherless homes - problems? lack of discipline? direction? lack of a masculine model? The greatest social problem today is Fatherless homes.
The general answer for the resulting issues is: children "missed their blessing"
Definition of Blessing: 1) to pray down God's divine favor (prophet, rabbi, patriarch) so that would result in
2) to cause to prosper: to promote wellness or well-being: may be physical, psychological, spiritual, relational, etc.
People desire (and need!!) to know that they are loved (lovable), valued (valuable) significant (special/matter).
To communicate this constitutes "Blessing"
(on one hand it's hard to define. on the other hand, all know when they experience it)
When people miss a blessing, it makes a difference in their life.
OBSERVATIONS:
1) All people long for blessing.
(innate, inherent - known long before can define it)
2) Blessing is especially important in Formative years.
3) Blessing (or lack thereof) carries into adulthood. According to stats: when person receives blessing, results in their being more mentally, emotionally, relationally, socially stable!!
4) Most effective time for blessing is childhood. Called "formative years" because that's when feelings, attitudes, world view, etc. is being formed.
BUT this is NOT the only time!!!
5) Most effective arena for blessing is home/family
BUT this is NOT the only arena!!!
6) It is within your power to bless - not only for Rabbi, etc.
Some are gifted with the gift of blessings, but even if not, doesn't take away the responsibility to do it.
So...... A FEW simple but effective ways to Bless.
#1. the most powerful, most effective - With Words. Prov. 18:21 (a) - ---> Matt. 12:36
ie: words of Praise, Encouragement ... "to speak well of"
Note: this does not negate need of discipline/correction... ( Heb. 12:11 )
Summary verse: Eph. 4:29
#2. With appropriate touch - (touch conveys a lot!!)
Mark 10:13 Mark 1:40-42
*touch works both ways -- ie. bless/curse
#3. With apology (more than apologetic words -- but heart!!)
importance?? Matt. 5:23-24
(Kids need this from adults!!!)
#4. With forgiveness (even blessed by forgiveness?? Eph. 4:32 )
Forgiveness = A. release from guilt/debt - (and the burden thereof)
B. removal of barrier between parties
#5. With an Education in God's Word
(contrast exposure to His Word) - ie. TAKE to Sunday School, AWANA, Day Camp - vs. living and educating by actions in daily life.
NOTE: temporal blessings are of some value!!! but not magic.
eternal blessings are of great value!!!
Remember:
1) No all will recognize your blessing. Compare to God's Salvation - available to all but not all will accept. Our responsibility is to OFFER - Prov. 3:27
2) Remember - when you bless, God blesses through you!!!
Monday, June 17, 2013
The Importance of DAD in the Home
Father's Day -
Recent decades - "fathers not that important in the home".
Answer: In the Jewish World Review - "Lunacy 101: Questioning the need for fathers"
Recently, from surveys, stats, and study - point/conclusion - FATHERS ARE IMPORTANT (= influential/make a difference)
Doesn't mean - all fathers are good - means all are influential, make a difference, good or bad
Also, doesn't mean mothers are not important - (if had motherless homes, would be looking at stats about that). But, reality is that there are a LOT of fatherless homes in our country.
Kids - doesn't mean you can't develop, mature without your father's presence
Dads - doesn't mean your kids cannot develop, mature without you.
Single Moms - doesn't mean your kids can't develop/mature under your care, influence, tutelage
It just mean: 1) generally speaking ... it's much better for the home if dad is in the home.
2) it is especially better for the home if there is a godly dad in the home.
So.... THREE CHARGES
I. MEN - fathers/fathers to be.
A) Your influence is huge ( plus or minus) - good or bad
B) This is by God's design
C) Can ignore, deny, shirk BUT can't change the fact
3 Scriptures: Mal. 4:5-6
Luke 12:48 (b) ...... from everyone...."
I Tim 5:8
On one hand, not gonna get it all right. - Rom. 3:23
On the other hand, should be motivated by the influence and the urgency.
II. WOMEN - wives and mothers to be.
Gen. 2:18 - "help mete/suitable helper"
On one hand, hubby often wants no help, refuses to be, become.
On the other hand, be careful!!! to examine:
a) your methods: helpful? or detrimental?
b) your motives - want him to be what God wants him to be/ or you want him to be???
Touchstone verse: Prov. 14:1 - "wise woman" - examines methods and motives
III. CHILDREN - (of all ages) - Ex. 20:12 ---> Eph. 6:2-3 - 1st. commandment with promise
1) give him (them) the honor due
2) give him (them) fair/balanced consideration when determining what honor is due!! Use head, not heart!!!
3) don't let his dishonorable decisions destroy you!!!!
Psalm 68:5 (a) Psalm 27:10
BABY DEDICATION - a formal ceremony wherein a child is dedicated to the Lord.
The idea is NOT hand off the child or the responsibility
BUT - #1. A public statement of recognition and thanks to God - "this child is from You"
#2. A public statement of intent - to raise this child - a) according to God's word
b) in hopes he/she will follow the Lord
(Public statement ---- compare to marriage vows) very serious
#3. A request for God's blessings - a) on the child b) on parents' efforts
BUT:
Note: Blessings sometimes bestowed, sometimes accomplished - but usually a combination of the two.
So.... parents ...note!!! The dedication of the child is meaningless without the dedication of selves (children don't need to be dedicated, but to see dedication)
Recent decades - "fathers not that important in the home".
Answer: In the Jewish World Review - "Lunacy 101: Questioning the need for fathers"
Recently, from surveys, stats, and study - point/conclusion - FATHERS ARE IMPORTANT (= influential/make a difference)
Doesn't mean - all fathers are good - means all are influential, make a difference, good or bad
Also, doesn't mean mothers are not important - (if had motherless homes, would be looking at stats about that). But, reality is that there are a LOT of fatherless homes in our country.
Kids - doesn't mean you can't develop, mature without your father's presence
Dads - doesn't mean your kids cannot develop, mature without you.
Single Moms - doesn't mean your kids can't develop/mature under your care, influence, tutelage
It just mean: 1) generally speaking ... it's much better for the home if dad is in the home.
2) it is especially better for the home if there is a godly dad in the home.
So.... THREE CHARGES
I. MEN - fathers/fathers to be.
A) Your influence is huge ( plus or minus) - good or bad
B) This is by God's design
C) Can ignore, deny, shirk BUT can't change the fact
3 Scriptures: Mal. 4:5-6
Luke 12:48 (b) ...... from everyone...."
I Tim 5:8
On one hand, not gonna get it all right. - Rom. 3:23
On the other hand, should be motivated by the influence and the urgency.
II. WOMEN - wives and mothers to be.
Gen. 2:18 - "help mete/suitable helper"
On one hand, hubby often wants no help, refuses to be, become.
On the other hand, be careful!!! to examine:
a) your methods: helpful? or detrimental?
b) your motives - want him to be what God wants him to be/ or you want him to be???
Touchstone verse: Prov. 14:1 - "wise woman" - examines methods and motives
III. CHILDREN - (of all ages) - Ex. 20:12 ---> Eph. 6:2-3 - 1st. commandment with promise
1) give him (them) the honor due
2) give him (them) fair/balanced consideration when determining what honor is due!! Use head, not heart!!!
3) don't let his dishonorable decisions destroy you!!!!
Psalm 68:5 (a) Psalm 27:10
BABY DEDICATION - a formal ceremony wherein a child is dedicated to the Lord.
The idea is NOT hand off the child or the responsibility
BUT - #1. A public statement of recognition and thanks to God - "this child is from You"
#2. A public statement of intent - to raise this child - a) according to God's word
b) in hopes he/she will follow the Lord
(Public statement ---- compare to marriage vows) very serious
#3. A request for God's blessings - a) on the child b) on parents' efforts
BUT:
Note: Blessings sometimes bestowed, sometimes accomplished - but usually a combination of the two.
So.... parents ...note!!! The dedication of the child is meaningless without the dedication of selves (children don't need to be dedicated, but to see dedication)
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Dealing With Emotional Baggage
We have addressed "gender differences", so now are moving on to "Emotional Baggage in Marriage".
Counseling scenario often = 1) typical marital issues, or 2) personal/emotional issues - brought into marriage
DEFINITION/DESCRIPTION
Marital Issues = problems caused by or inherent to a marriage relationship.
ie: problems that didn't exist until the union
Examples: money management by 2 people, sexual compatibility, child discipline, dealing with in laws
Maybe gender differences, personal preference, issues of teamwork and cooperation
Marital Issues are: common (are some in all marriages)
predictable
Therefore: relatively easy to diagnose and address
CONTRAST:
Emotional Issues - Emotional Baggage - not problems caused by the union, but rather - unresolved issues brought into the union
Examples: passion --> frigidity (many times because of childhood sexual abuse)
lying and deceitfulness - (formed in foster system/survival)
Vow of "no woman will control me" - (because of domineering mother)
So..........Emotional Issues/Emotional Baggage - on one hand causes problems in the marriage
But, is not caused By the marriage.
Examples:
Princess Attitude
Entitlement Attitude
Helpless Victim Attitude/Defeatist Attitude
Better than others Attitude - extreme pride
Inferior to others Attitude - low self-esteem/insecurity
Suspicious of others Attitude
Chauvinism/feminism/sexism/racism ---> "all women are deceitful"/"all men are domineering"
(Therefore: suspicion of spouse!!)
Control issues - no woman/man/______ will tell me what to do!!!!
Fear of bonding - (if get close people will use you/hurt you...)
Fear of sex - (duty, vulgar, nasty, harmful) (painful!)
Whatever the cause, it's created issues like:
Contempt for others - contempt for rich/poor/jocks/cowboys
Stubbornness/hard heartedness/Pigheadedness
Social withdrawal -->socially inept
Being overly sensitive - and showing it or hiding it.
Creates: insecurity, anger, bitterness, hatred, envy, jealousy! unwilling to see/admit a problem.
Therefore????
Creates inner vows - "I'll show them" w/money/accomplishments/guns/bomb!!
"My parents made me go to church.... and I'll never....." etc., etc., etc.
DESCRIPTIVE TERMS
1) Baggage - because brought it with you (unpacked in the relationship)
2) Personal - because it's yours, belongs to you
Causes problems for spouse, but NOT the spouse's problem - it's YOURS!!!
3) Emotional - because it's deep-seated/solidly rooted feelings!!
"I'm a decent person and feel strongly about this so it must be right!!!
4) Mental - because affects how you think/see/perceive - (world view)
AND how you think and feel leads to how you act/react/respond
5) Unresolved - because problem is not past experience(s)
The problem is past experience(s) not having been resolved/dealt with/cleared up
6) Issues/Problems - because = problem!!! - and creates more problems.
Your feelings/conclusions are contrary to God's will for you.... so
A) hinder growth/maturity and B) hinder your ability to give and receive love.
ORIGINS:
may be inherited, learned, environmental, introduced (by trauma), these are Real causes,
BUT, may even be perceived/an imagined cause
POINT: = these (any) unresolved emotional issues =
1) Contrary to God's will and intent for you
2) Hinder your growth/maturity
3) Hinder your ability to give and received in a relationship. Christianity is about relationships.
In summary: 1) it's sin/wrong/detrimental!!!
and 2) you have to be the one to deal with emotions!
OBSERVATIONS
1. We all have emotional baggage - everybody has some!
Because - we are sinners - raised by sinners - in a sinful world
2. Emotional baggage comes in all levels of intensity
Some = minor - prejudice against little dogs
Some = major - prejudice against little boys/girls!!!
Most issues and not big but compare to a thorn in yr. shoe!! - may not be terrible but can change the way you walk, etc. till it's removed.
3. The emotional health of a marriage cannot exceed the emotional health of the individuals within the marriage. A ___________ marriage is made of __________ people. Fill in the blanks.
4. The emotional health of one cannot (fully) compensate/offset the emotional baggage of the other.
Can make a difference/ can help, but cannot make the relationship what it should be.
5. Emotional issues in one tend to create emotional issues in the other. - Example: abusive alcoholic --> wife=???
6. Emotional issues in parents tend to create emotional issues in the children.
Example: who is more likely to be physically abusive???
sexually abusive??
Domineering??? etc
NOTE: most of the illustrations are radical for the sake of illustration.
But, remember, emotional issues come in small doses more often than in large doses.
Example: termites destroy more homes in a year's time than do tornadoes, so why isn't the news media all over that????
Application: Note - the message = dealing with emotional baggage in marriage.
How Not to Deal With It
Denial Indifference Stonewalling Blame Transfer Defeatism (helpless victim)
Instead:
#1. Admit generally - Rom. 3:23 - you are a sinner/raised by sinners/in sinful world....
#2. Assess continually - (doesn't mean all day, everyday.... But ongoing!!!)
Note: emotional baggage = very easy to discern .... IN OTHERS!!!
"Need Objective measure" - ie: The Word - 2 Tim. 3:14-16 - don't measure by feelings but by the truths in God's Word.
Note: (therefore) Value of a) Bible Study b) preaching and teaching c) exposure to the Holy Spirit
#3. Admit specifically - 1st. step in AA? - "I am an alcoholic". Say the same thing God says about.
#4. Respond Scripturally
Confess/apology/forgiveness/repentance - John 8:31-32
Prov. 14:1 Prov. 24:3-4
Counseling scenario often = 1) typical marital issues, or 2) personal/emotional issues - brought into marriage
DEFINITION/DESCRIPTION
Marital Issues = problems caused by or inherent to a marriage relationship.
ie: problems that didn't exist until the union
Examples: money management by 2 people, sexual compatibility, child discipline, dealing with in laws
Maybe gender differences, personal preference, issues of teamwork and cooperation
Marital Issues are: common (are some in all marriages)
predictable
Therefore: relatively easy to diagnose and address
CONTRAST:
Emotional Issues - Emotional Baggage - not problems caused by the union, but rather - unresolved issues brought into the union
Examples: passion --> frigidity (many times because of childhood sexual abuse)
lying and deceitfulness - (formed in foster system/survival)
Vow of "no woman will control me" - (because of domineering mother)
So..........Emotional Issues/Emotional Baggage - on one hand causes problems in the marriage
But, is not caused By the marriage.
Examples:
Princess Attitude
Entitlement Attitude
Helpless Victim Attitude/Defeatist Attitude
Better than others Attitude - extreme pride
Inferior to others Attitude - low self-esteem/insecurity
Suspicious of others Attitude
Chauvinism/feminism/sexism/racism ---> "all women are deceitful"/"all men are domineering"
(Therefore: suspicion of spouse!!)
Control issues - no woman/man/______ will tell me what to do!!!!
Fear of bonding - (if get close people will use you/hurt you...)
Fear of sex - (duty, vulgar, nasty, harmful) (painful!)
Whatever the cause, it's created issues like:
Contempt for others - contempt for rich/poor/jocks/cowboys
Stubbornness/hard heartedness/Pigheadedness
Social withdrawal -->socially inept
Being overly sensitive - and showing it or hiding it.
Creates: insecurity, anger, bitterness, hatred, envy, jealousy! unwilling to see/admit a problem.
Therefore????
Creates inner vows - "I'll show them" w/money/accomplishments/guns/bomb!!
"My parents made me go to church.... and I'll never....." etc., etc., etc.
DESCRIPTIVE TERMS
1) Baggage - because brought it with you (unpacked in the relationship)
2) Personal - because it's yours, belongs to you
Causes problems for spouse, but NOT the spouse's problem - it's YOURS!!!
3) Emotional - because it's deep-seated/solidly rooted feelings!!
"I'm a decent person and feel strongly about this so it must be right!!!
4) Mental - because affects how you think/see/perceive - (world view)
AND how you think and feel leads to how you act/react/respond
5) Unresolved - because problem is not past experience(s)
The problem is past experience(s) not having been resolved/dealt with/cleared up
6) Issues/Problems - because = problem!!! - and creates more problems.
Your feelings/conclusions are contrary to God's will for you.... so
A) hinder growth/maturity and B) hinder your ability to give and receive love.
ORIGINS:
may be inherited, learned, environmental, introduced (by trauma), these are Real causes,
BUT, may even be perceived/an imagined cause
POINT: = these (any) unresolved emotional issues =
1) Contrary to God's will and intent for you
2) Hinder your growth/maturity
3) Hinder your ability to give and received in a relationship. Christianity is about relationships.
In summary: 1) it's sin/wrong/detrimental!!!
and 2) you have to be the one to deal with emotions!
OBSERVATIONS
1. We all have emotional baggage - everybody has some!
Because - we are sinners - raised by sinners - in a sinful world
2. Emotional baggage comes in all levels of intensity
Some = minor - prejudice against little dogs
Some = major - prejudice against little boys/girls!!!
Most issues and not big but compare to a thorn in yr. shoe!! - may not be terrible but can change the way you walk, etc. till it's removed.
3. The emotional health of a marriage cannot exceed the emotional health of the individuals within the marriage. A ___________ marriage is made of __________ people. Fill in the blanks.
4. The emotional health of one cannot (fully) compensate/offset the emotional baggage of the other.
Can make a difference/ can help, but cannot make the relationship what it should be.
5. Emotional issues in one tend to create emotional issues in the other. - Example: abusive alcoholic --> wife=???
6. Emotional issues in parents tend to create emotional issues in the children.
Example: who is more likely to be physically abusive???
sexually abusive??
Domineering??? etc
NOTE: most of the illustrations are radical for the sake of illustration.
But, remember, emotional issues come in small doses more often than in large doses.
Example: termites destroy more homes in a year's time than do tornadoes, so why isn't the news media all over that????
Application: Note - the message = dealing with emotional baggage in marriage.
How Not to Deal With It
Denial Indifference Stonewalling Blame Transfer Defeatism (helpless victim)
Instead:
#1. Admit generally - Rom. 3:23 - you are a sinner/raised by sinners/in sinful world....
#2. Assess continually - (doesn't mean all day, everyday.... But ongoing!!!)
Note: emotional baggage = very easy to discern .... IN OTHERS!!!
"Need Objective measure" - ie: The Word - 2 Tim. 3:14-16 - don't measure by feelings but by the truths in God's Word.
Note: (therefore) Value of a) Bible Study b) preaching and teaching c) exposure to the Holy Spirit
#3. Admit specifically - 1st. step in AA? - "I am an alcoholic". Say the same thing God says about.
#4. Respond Scripturally
Confess/apology/forgiveness/repentance - John 8:31-32
Prov. 14:1 Prov. 24:3-4
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