Developing Godly Marital Character

Prov. 31:10-31
What a woman!  What man would not want a wife like that?

in Summary, she is:
(1)  trustworthy
(2)  a manager of the household
(3)  industrious; hard working and also "far-sighted" - ie:  looks to and plans for the future!
(4)  famly centered/oriented  (not egocentric!  selfish)
But also
(5)  compassionate and generous beyond her own family!
(6)  she is wise and instructive (without being bossy!!)  She not only has good character but is a builder of good character!
(7)  she fears the Lord (YHWH)
(8)  She may not be a fashion model BUT she is clearly a woman of beauty!!
(9)  her husband is praised PARTLY because of her! 
AND
(10)  she is praised for her character (who she is)   AND for her deeds  (what she does)

So, Prov. 31:31 - give her the reward she has earned!  And.. let her works bring her praise!  from men!

Question:  What if we re-wrote that passage for a man?  husband?  Might read something like this:

A man of noble character who can find?
His worth cannot be measured in dollars!

His wife has full confidence in him - therefore she lacks nothing of real value!
He brings her good all the days of his life... NOT just when they are young and newly wed.

He works hard; he works willingly;
He looks to the future, plans for the future, invests for the future.

He is compassionate and sensitive to the needs of people beyond his immediate famly.

His wife is respected PARTLY due to him; because he builds her up in the eyes of others.

He is (not just) knowledgeable but also WISE.  And is able to dispense that wisdom without being egotistical or overbearing. 

He is focused on his work and career BUT not to the point of neglecting his family... for they come first! 

His wife and children recognize they are blessed, and they praise him.

He may NOT be handsome!  But hi is a man to be admired and applauded!

He fears the Lord... and is to be praised. 
A man who fears the Lord is to be praised.

THEREFORE:
Give him what he deserves;  what he has earned... proper praise, rightful due,
And let his character (and) his deeds bring him praise.

Vs. 31 - "give him the reward he has earned .. and let his works bring him praise!"

On one hand, we know Prov. 31 is a valid description of "noble woman", therefore I suspect its  parallel is "noble man" - account is valid.

IF SO, what's at issue:
#1.  Character - (description of a person)
    which = (A)  who you are  (internal)
          and  (B) what you do (external) 
Is a combination of the two.  Can distinguish between these BUT really can't separate them!!

#2.  Godly Character - ie  the character God calls us to
Which = the character of God  (if he were a man!)
Examples:  Adam and Eve before the fall and Jesus - Word made flesh - what Christ would do if he were here now.

NOTE: 
1) these = character traits chosen by GOD, NOT Man!!

2)  These = character traits we are to pursue and develop!   - We aren't just born with all this.

3)  These character traits are not just to be pursued and developed AFTER marriage and within marriage ... but should be persued, developed BEFORE marriage!!!

Young people:  don't wait until marriage to develop Godly marital traits!!  START NOW!!

So....HOW to develop Godly Marital Character????

#1.  discover the goal - ie:  what God wants you to become, ie:  the character GOD calls you to (not self, world, friends, etc.) - as a person, partner, parent

Godly character = the character GOD would display IF He were a MAN!! 

Again: = these are NOT traits you admire, secretly choose ... But God calls us to.

So, goal = to be God-like in your marital role/ relationship!!
Objection:  that's an UN-OBTAINABLE goal!!"  - can't live up to this standard
BUT the inability to reach PERFECTION does NOT mean Can't IMPROVE!!

OBSERVATIONS

(1)  you never outgrow the need to improve!

(2)  you never outgrow the ability to improve!!  (unless mentally incapacitated)

(3)  the sooner you start, the farther you'll go.

(4)  a LATE start is better than NO start!!

 #2.  Understand the Process   "Sanctification" = the process of growing into/ becoming the person created/called/saved to be 

3 steps of sanctification:

(1)  Conviction - John 16:8
on one hand this = God's part.
However, are you open to His call?   Must listen to the Holy Spirit

(2)  Conversion - receive Christ, saved, Born again - 2 Cor. 5:17
"Holy spirit with you is now IN you" - John 14:17 

Now you begin the process of becoming:
(3)  Sanctification = the process of becoming.... 

3 Primary components of Sanctification  (becoming)
(1)  Submission - to God/Holy Spirit as He convicts/corrects, etc.
(2)  Education = learning  (a)  what you are to become  (b)  HOW to achieve it
(3)  Determination - because this is no walk in the park!

#3.  Be aware of and wary of your biggest enemy ( in this)
enemies = Satan, society, old friends, etc.  things that distract/ derail
But Biggest enemy = SELF  (old man dies hard!!)
check out Rom. 7:15-25

#4.  Discipline yourself  ie.  "DO what needs to be done!!
On one hand, God = faithful to His part in developing you  - Phil. 1:6
However, He'll not do it without your cooperation - 2 Pet. 1:3, 5-9
He will not change you when you are fighting Him every step of the way.

#5.  Be Consistent  does not mean never down, off, fail, "give up"
Rather = Always GET UP!!  "Perseverance"

#6.  Embrace Community - God's community = the church!!  Heb. 10:23-25
not a lot in the New Testament about Christians gathering together, because they naturally did that!

NOTE:
(1)  This is not about improving your spouse, but improving your SELF!

(2)  to this process (sanctification) your are CALLED

(3)  God will do His part... YOU must do YOURS!! 

(4)  When your commitment fails ... Re-commit!

(5)  THIS = God's plan!! It is NOT faulty.  In pursuing it,  you will be Blessed!

Closing Scripture:    Prov. 14:1