Fortify Your Marriage

 Marriage = designed by God as a gift

Now days, seen as outdated, unnecessary, restrictive.  But, NOT by God's standard.  

Was the first human institution.

Look at Paul's letter to the Ephesians.  Chapter 4.  Paul builds on Christian principles, marriage built on these principles.  

Eph. 4:17-24  - Ephesian Christians were surrounded by Pagan Temples, the goddess Artemis.  They were to be different.  Matt. 5:16 - a happy/loving marriage is a powerful witness - will be different.
Repent!  Saved by grace through faith.  Created in Christ Jesus for god works.

This is what it looks like:
Eph. 4:25 - members of one another.  Should be even more in marriage.  Mark 10:6-9 - physical, emotional, spiritual - God has a way of weaving together. 2 become 1.

Is meant to be good and a joy but can also become a burden.
Prov. 18:22 - vs. Prov. 27:15-16   Prov. 5:18 vs. Prov. 25:24 

Point #1:  Fortify your marriage with honesty.
Spouse should be no better friend.  Be honest about hopes, dreams, needs, desires, goals, hurts, failures, insecurities.  Can be tough to do, but is necessary.  How can we know if you don't tell us.

Point #2.  Protect your time.  ie:  no screens in the bedroom, go to bed together. 
Also, important in communication is listening.  - James 1:19
Listen:  ask questions about what spouse says.  Try to understand their perspective.  Try to be receptive and respond properly.
Challenge:  Make a covenant.  Have dates, use phones to stay in touch, help with making bed, etc.  Voice specifics.  Guard against going on autopilot when having a discussion.  Be attentive.  You are a team.  Should work together.
Eph. 5:28-29 - we tend to meet needs when needs are met.  can cycle up (meeting needs, getting needs met) or cycle down (not meeting needs, needs not met).

Eph. 4:26-27

Point #3.  Fortify your marriage with forgiveness.   Not to harbor anger toward others, especially Christians, three times as much toward spouse. 
Where does the anger come from?   Wrong doing.  Usually small stuff.  Usually = big habit, can be about recent stuff, ancient stuff, even pre-marriage stuff. 
Work toward reconciliation with remorse, repentance, FORGIVENESS.  We are to forgive as Christ forgave.

Failure to forgive = bitterness and contempt.  As for help.  Stop bringing it up.  1 Cor. 13:5, Eph. 4:31-32
Get your sins forgiven.  When we don't, Satan opposes us.  The longer we stew, the worse it gets.  "bigger the weed, harder to pull"

Eph. 4:29 - Words are powerful.

Point #4.  Fortify your marriage with constructive speech.  If it doesn't help, don't say it.
Corrupting speech like bad/rotten fruit - Luke 6:43    Putrid fish - Matt. 13:48   It is disgusting and makes things worse.
Corrupting vs. Constructing - talking behind back.  Rip vs. praise.  Gripe to kids vs. brag and stand with spouse.
A great gift for children is showing a loving mommy/daddy well.  Set the example.  Want them to want to marry person like mommy/daddy.

Challenge:  flirt with each other.  Go on a date.  You used to like each other. 
Healthy families start with healthy marriages.  Let's build those forever.

Closing scripture:  Eph. 5:22-23