Buffaloes and Butterflies the 37th addition.... This topic began at a Mother's Day meal at the old Octavia School. The men at the event were outside while the women were in cooking the meal, serving the meal and cleaning up the meal...for MOTHER'S DAY! This is how it began, the next morning the sermon "Why your husband is such a clod" was delivered. The next week the sermon "Why your wife is such a nag" was heard. Out of that became the Marriage and Family Series. This series addresses normal everyday marital issues.
I. Why your husband is such a clod
1. He's human
Romans 3:23 (ESV) "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,"
Your husband is a seriously flawed individual....we all are!
2. He's a MALE human
Genesis 1:27 (ESV) "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them."
Every cell in the female human body is DIFFERENT from every cell in the male body. In the normal human body there are about 100 trillion body cells/171 billion brain cells. Every cell is different from the other sex. So he acts different, he thinks differently and communicates differently.
3. He's ignorant
He has no training or guidance about marriage. Where do you get marriage training? If you are ignorant about something and do not try to train yourself, that is stupid.
4. He's forgetful
Butterfly language, behavior, thinking and logic do not come natural to a Buffalo. He doesn't think like you ladies.
5. He's confused
Butterfly logic does not make sense to him. Sometimes he knows what he has done wrong and sometimes he does not have a clue. Sometimes he hasn't done anything wrong he you are just having a bad day.
II. Why your wife is such a nag!
Proverbs 27:15-16 (ESV) "A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike; to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in one's right hand."
Proverbs 21: 19 (ESV) "It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman."
1. She's human
Romans 3:23 (ESV) "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,"
She is a seriously flawed individual.
2. She's a female human
Same as above....
3. She's ignorant
The difference here is that she is more likely to seek advice/counsel. Who teaches basic marital differences of men and women outside of Christian sources.
4. She's forgetful
She may learn the basic care of a Buffalo, but it doesn't come natural. She may learn a lot and apply it.
5. She's confused
Buffalo thinking will never mak
e sense to her.
6. Both are hurt!
Buffaloes are notorious for hurting a Butterflies feelings, but nobody can hurt your buffalo like you can. Small wounds can heal, but hurts tend to accumulate especially if they are not dealt with.
III. Solutions
There is no complete list of solutions.
1. Problem... humaness
Humanity is not going away so the remedy is accepting Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit comes to live inside of you. When you accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior then your outlook changes, your attitude changes, your direction changes, your logic changes. If both people in the relationship have committed to Jesus Christ they are going to do well. When you accept Christ you get a new heart, a new mind, a new outlook, new rules...God's rules! Not the rules that your parents made up and handed down to you. It is not the rules that your friends made up...they are God's rules and He knows what He is talking about. He is the one who created marriage! When you get His rules down it is going to make a big difference. You also will have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. He convicts you...He convinces you where you are wrong or right.
2. Problem...Male/female differences
What is the answer to this problem? Accept it...it is never going away. God designed us to be different. The problem did not exist in Eden until sin entered the picture. The problem is not in the differences, the problem is the sinful selfish behavior that we all have. The differences are part of God's design. There is nothing wrong with that. It is a perfect design.
3. Problem....ignorance
The solution is education...not formal education. An education based on scripture.
1 Peter 3:7a (ESV) "Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman..."
Accept that you are ignorant an d educate yourself... you cannot feed a buffalo butterfly food and you can not give a butterfly buffalo food. You have to recognize that you may have the same truth, but not expressing the same way.
4. Problem....forgetfulness
Answer...revisit and remind. This is why we continue this series. To remind ourselves that there are differences.
5. Problem....confused
There is no remedy for this. You just have to live with it. The differences are what the attraction is. Education and revisiting helps a lot with the confusion.
6. Problem....accumulated hurts
a. Recognize your failures/shortcomings. We don't fix what isn't broke.
b. Admit it...confess to yourself, to God and to your spouse.
c. Apologize...even if you are not sure why the action hurt. There is a tremendous healing power in a sincere apology.
d, Forgive...let it go. Don't hold on to it! Failure to forgive hurts you, your spouse and your marriage relationship, it hurts your kids. If you want your kids to grow up in a healthy marital relationship then you have to model a healthy marital relationship. If you fail to forgive then kids think that is the way it ought to be. Kids tend to follow their parents behavior in the beginning of their relationships.
e. Recommit...to your spouse, your marriage, to God's rules. There is only one person that you can fix in a relationship and that is you. You cannot fix your spouse.
f. Be Reasonable...give up the notion of a perfect marriage.
g. Work at it....for yourself, for your spouse, for your kids, for the community, for the sake of the Gospel! The world needs example of proper Christian marriage. It is hard work, but well worth the effort.
The touchstone verse for the Family Series is
Proverbs 14:1 (ESV) "The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down."
This can be said about both men and women. Are we going to be wise men and women and build up our marriages or tear them down.
Closing Scripture: Psalm 25:4-5 (ESV) "Make me to know your ways, O LORD; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long."
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