Buffaloes and Butterflies

 From 1989 - 34 years ago.

Part 1:
WHY YOUR HUSBAND IS SUCH A CLOD

Because:
(1)  He's human - Rom. 3:23
he's a seriously flawed individual!
(Note:  this message is for normal, everyday male cloddishness.  This does NOT apply to abuse, abandonment, cruelty, etc.)

(2)  He's a Male Human - Gen. 1:27
every cell in his body = different ... Including Brain Cells!!!  Are an average 100 trillion cells in a body.
Hence - "buffaloes and butterflies"

(3)  He's ignorant - ie.  uneducated/unlearned/unschooled
On one hand this is no longer true of much of OBC congregation. 
However, (1) for newbies  (2)  because ladies didn't want it left out!!

(4)  He's forgetful ... "butterfly" doesn't come natural. 
He may not be a BAD BUFFALO!
Rather = a seriously flawed, ignorant, forgetful Buffalo!!

(5)  He's Confused ... because:
     (1)  "butterfly" just doesn't make sense
     (2)  yesterday he = white knight!!
            today = court jester!!
Sometimes he knows what he's done wrong  But sometimes he hasn't a clue!!

AND ... sometimes it's not because he's done something wrong.... it's just that you're having BAD DAY!!

Part 2:
WHY YOUR WIFE IS SUCH A NAG

Because:
(1)  She's human - Rom. 3:23  (seriously flawed)

(2). She's a female human - Gen. 1:27
(every cell different, even brain cells!)

(3)  She's Ignorant?
On one hand, women are far more likely to seek information and counseling
However, who teaches this BASIS LIFE CHANGING Information?

(4)  Forgetful -
On one hand may learn basic care and feeding of Buffalo... but
it'll never come natural!!

(5)  She's Confused!!  because...
(1)  'buffalo' doesn't make sense AND
(2) yesterday she = your princess/queen
      today you = indifferent, irritable, grumpy, hateful?
Sometimes she knows why... sometimes without a clue!!!

AND
(6) Both = HURT!! 
On one hand, Buffaloes are notorious for trampling on butterfly's feelings
However, no one can inflict pain on your buffalo like YOU can!!

On one hand, small hurts will often heal. 
However, even small hurts tend to accumulate!!
(especially if not properly dealt with)
Compare:  hurts in 1st year vs. 10, 20, 30 years

So... Solution to this???

ANSWER:  there is NO (complete) solution!!!
Marriage = intimate union of 2 seriously flawed people!!  Are never going to have a perfect union.

But there are (many) helpful remedies...  (here's a few:

(1)  Problem:  He/she is Human
      Remedy:  Salvation - accept Christ, be born again)
On one hand, your humanity (sinful tendency) is NOT going away!
However, this = perfect way to begin addressing problem....

Salvation leads to (1)  new heart, new mind ("creation")  new outlook, goals
(2)  New understanding! new Rules... (ie:  God's Righteous Rules)
(3)  inclusion, indwelling of the Holy Spirit  (to convict, guide, etc.)

(2)  Problem:  Male/Female 
This is NOT a problem!!  THIS = God's perfect design!!!
Problem = sinful, selfish tendencies, actions

(3)  Problem:  Ignorance
Remedy:  Education   1 Pet. 3:7
     (others = "according to knowledge, with understanding)

Many good Christian resources available!
This will NOT make you fluent in Butterflies/Buffaloes.
Will give you amazing insights!!

(4)  Problem:  Forgetful 
    Remedy:  Reminders 
Again.... Buffaloes will never fully understand Butterflies and vice versa,
BUT Re-Visiting these material helps A Lot.

(5)  Problem:  Confused 
     Remedy:  there is NO remedy!!
On one hand, will never fully understand
However, education and reminders HELP!! A LOT!!

(6)  Problem:  Hurts - look at several helpful remedies

    A)  Recognize your failures  (plural)
ie:  specific shortcomings... so can address them!!!

    B)  Admit it - ie:  confess!  to self... to God!!

    C)  Apologize (even if not sure why that hurt)

    D)  Forgive = let it go/ don't hold on to it!!!

    E)  Recommit to spouse, to marriage, to GOD'S RULES!!

   F)  Be Reasonable  give up notion of a perfect mate!!  (your spouse is flawed and YOU are flawed!)

   G)  Keep Working
     on one hand it is a lot of work!!
     however, it = WORTH IT!!  for you/ your spouse/ your kids, for their kids, for church, for community, Kingdom.

Touchstone Verse for family series:  Prov. 14:1 - applies to both man and woman