Family Series: Honor Your Father and Mother

 The Command:  Ex. 20:12

Definition:  respect, look up to, give special recognition, (sometimes) defer to

honor = easier to recognize than to define
(contrast - dis respect, dis regard, ignore, etc.
(We KNOW the difference!)

Deut. 5:16 - "as commanded" !!  - The Lord has commanded.

The Promise - Eph. 6:1-3 = to the nation!  Is the first command with a promise.  Not an individual promise, but as a national promise.
POINT:  This = critical to social order!!
                    = necessary to national prosperity!!
(nation will not prosper if children do not honor the parents_

NOTE:  (1) = among the TOP TEN moral laws!!
and  (2)  is the 1st. in the horizontal tablet  (1st. in last 6) - This has not changed.  Is NOT exclusive to the Jewish people.

Obviously is serious!!  So ... Ex. 21:17  Deut. 27:11-15 - talking about absolutely rebellious child
consistent with "ye shall purge the evil from among you"
(it will rot your society)  

This principle, found in  (1)  Wisdom literature - Prov. 1:8-9, 19:26, 30:17
                                   (2)  New Testament instruction  (Eph. 6, Col. 3)  1 Tim. 5:4, 8
                                   (3)  Lists of sins - Rom. 1:29-31, 2 Tim. 3:1-2
                                   (4) Validated by Jesus - Matt. 15:3-4  (corban)
                                                                     Luke 18:18-20  (rich young ruler)

This =
A)  Clearly and emphatically taught!!!
B)  a universal moral law!!!

Exactly how to?  what does it look like? "easier to recognize than define!"

Some suggestions:

(1)  express appreciation
most parents have sacrificed!!! - Rom. 13:7 - pay what's due

(2)  Seek their advice
(3)  listen to them - Prov. 23:22
This does NOT mean take the advice.  Means seek and listen!

(4)  treat them with respect ... even when you disagree.  (especially when you disagree)
Their reaction to you NOT  taking their advice = their problem, their issue!

(5)  talk well of them in public  (especially before your kids!)
This does not mean ignore their faults.  It means don't inflate the faults

(6)  pray for them - parenting = tough job ... especially for sinners  (Rom. 3:23)
(7)  forgive them
(1)   "all parents sin and come short of the glory of God"
Heb. 12:14-15 - "unforgiveness (grudge) = poison you drink to hurt someone else!!"

(8)  Keep in touch  ("leave" does not mean forsake!)

(9)  provide for them - as they become unable to cope.  "provision" may be financial, physical care, oversight, visitation, etc.   

(10)  honor their memory - example:  care for the gravesite, tell your kids, grandkids about them....

This is not math/science;  there is no step by step instruction book; are lots of legitimate questions and uncertainty!!  in How to??

Example:  what about step parents?  in-laws?  grandparents?  aunts?  uncles?
Answer:  same rules generally apply!
Lev. 19:32 - the Christian responsibility for elderly does not end with parents!!

Question:  Can you "honor" from afar?
Answer - yes IF necessary ... but be careful of Self righteousness, self deceit, etc.  Must search YOUR
heart, God's will

Question:  Can you honor them and force them against their wishes at the same time??
Example:  nursing home:  Alzheimers?  driving?
On one hand, you may become a PROTECTOR!   (in charge)
However, one thing you should protect = their DIGNITY!!

NOTE:  You teach your kids to respect their elders .. partly by modeling respect for elders!!  (if kids don't see respect.. will they learn to give respect?!)

Sometimes "honor father and mother" comes Very Easy!! (if parents are honorable)
Sometimes     "        "       "       "       comes Very Hard!!
So.. (1) remember:  this = a Commandment  (not a suggestion)  (is serious)
       (2)  this is for our benefit!!

Finally,
OVID (Roman poet in Augustus' day) quote = "to be loved be loveable"
"honored ... be honorable"
Deut.  30:19-20
Make it Easy for your kids to honor you!!