Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Buffaloes and Butterflies

Family Series:  began in 1989 with the "Buffaloes and Butterflies" sermon - last preached in 2006.

Why your husband is such a clod.
#1.  He's human.  - Rom. 3:23 - seriously flawed

#2.  He's male - Gen. 1:27 - the same yet vastly different! - Incredibly different.
How different?  Every cell in the body has either an xx chromosome making it female, or xy chromosome making it male.

So, they think different, perceive, react different, have different needs, language, need different nourishment! - thus the difference between buffaloes and butterflies.  Many books address these differences.  One example:  Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

#3.  He's ignorant (uneducated, unlearned) - because:  a) this isn't natural
                                                                                  b) this isn't taught

#4.  He's forgetful - because NEVER natural to think like a Butterfly! - it's contrary to his makeup.

#5.  He's confused - because he can't  fully ever understand  * 
*Knows the relationship is not what it should be, AND doesn't know how to fix it.
H. D. Thoreau - "the mass of men live lives of quiet desperation".

NOW - Men:
Why your wife is such a nag.   Prov. 27:15-16 - the SAME points.

Add to both:
#6.  Hurt
Problem:  hurts happen, accumulate, hurt!!!  It is detrimental.  Wounds can heal, but hurts stay.

Add in:  different personalities, temperaments, backgrounds, preferences.
No surprise that there is strife.  The surprise is in marital success. Marital satisfaction!
Statistics:  89% show - "if could do it over...., would ... with same partner!"
                75% show - "very happy in my marriage."
Another 21% state are somewhat happy.
Relationships are highly valued, yet highly volatile.

So......... Remedy???  Answer:  yes and no
On one hand, these differences won't go away.
On the other hand, there are ways to address the problems.

#1.  Human?   Answer:  a New Human.   2 Cor. 5:17
Receive Christ --> learn Word --> respond to the Holy Spirit --> better person --> better partner

#2.  Male/Female?  That's NOT the problem!!  It is God's perfect design!!  he created them male and female.

The Problem is our response to the differences!!

                    A) - answer is Salvation    B)  Education

#3.  Ignorant?  Educate self - books, CDs, DVDs etc.

#4.  Forgetful?  - REVIEW!!

#5.  Confused?  (live with it!!)  Not going away.

#6.  Hurt?  - a)  learn what hurts and correct behavior
                    b)  offer apology, grant forgiveness
                    c)  give affirmation

The only one you can change is yourself.  However, you can do much to influence your partner.    Why not focus on both???  Prov. 14:1

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