Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Marriage 102

Gen. 1:27 - "Male and Female"

On one hand there are many similarities.
However, (1) there are distinct differences (gender differences)
(2) These differences are more than physical, biological, anatomical

So, today - we're discussing One difference, which is a big, important, fundamental difference.

Eph. 5:33 - "Love and Respect". The definition ---- the overlap ---- downward spiral

I. Her need for love - SECURITY - A. Emotional/Relational security - not $$$
B. when she feels emotionally secure she feels loved!!

A. The issue - women don't feel secure in their husband's love.

B. The need -
1. God-given, not a result of the fall!!
2. not necessary to survive bu the thrive!!

C. The Feeling - because they need more than to be secure, need to feel secure!!

NOTE: feeling is logic resistant - not fixed by intelligence, knowledge, reason and facts

D. The Solution/Remedy = YOU!!
On one hand, men, there are many places your wife can receive love,
marital love, marital security and the feeling thereof comes ONLY from a spouse/mate!!

So, what to do!!! It's not complex. It's not difficult.
Examples: time together, relational time together, time on purpose (says she's valuable), communication, intimate communication, a focus on feelings, sympathy for feelings....

II. His need for Respect.
A. The Issue. If had to choose between being loved or being respected, the vast majority of men choose to be respected over loved.

B. The need
1. God given.
2. not necessary to survive, but thrive.

C. the feeling - because feelings are not for women only! If a man feels disrespected, he feels unloved.

Note: this is also logic resistant!
D. The Solution? Remedy? = YOU!

Marital needs are only supplied by marital partners!
Therefore, if the needs not met, He'll look elsewhere! (affairs = love!)

So, affirm him/build him. They are "buffaloes - pretty simple!!

Duty/Responsibility - Eph. 5:33
A. Love and respect = a command! "Must"
B. They are to be given "unconditionally"
C. To refuse to do so = disobedience to God! I Tim. 5:8
D. To refuse to do so = foolish. Eph. 5:28-29

As one or the other doesn't receive what's needed, that person reacts by not meeting the needs of the other. And so on and so on, and it continues to go down from there.

Reversing the Spiral
Prov. 24:3-4

What women want their hubbies to know: "although I don't always show it well, I do deeply love/respect/desire you..." - 93% of women agree with this statement.

What men want their wives to know: "how much I love/cherish/need you!"

So??? Why are we starving one another??? Ignorance? Indifference? Pride? Stubbornness? Selfishness? Fear of rejection? Vengeance? Anger??

Prov. 14:1

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